2008

It started out hopeful with the theme "find a mate in 2008". Swing and a miss.

But a lot of great things did happen. Let's look at them by location, shall we?

Sierra Vista: maybe not the most exciting place to ring in the new year, but there's nothing better than being with T&T and their beautiful kids. This is when I first met my nephew Blake.

Provo: living in the basement of an old house with the Wood brothers. Just one thought and I can smell the rice brewing, feel the post-laundry water emptying from the washing machine onto my feet in the shower, and hear Mike's blues riffs on the guitar.

LDS Motion Picture Studio: being in BYU's experimental musical/movie "Berlin" soaked up half of my life winter semester, but it was worth it. I played the French foreign minister, with an accent ranging between Pepe Le Pue and the Pink Panther. I also played Rich Karnicak, an arrogant '50s movie star, in Whitney Donald's senior project film, "Best Wishes! Love, Adele".

Phoenix: visiting the nieces and nephew again. It was about time. Isn't it about time again?

Spring Term in Provo, not Moab: sitting in physical science 101 lectures and studying for the LSAT, and writing grant proposals for Romania. Luckily, I managed to make it to the rope swing a few times, go for some hikes, and even down to St. George on a short road trip with Miss Latimer.

Colorado: welcoming home Sister Wilkin, despite almost not making it due to running out of gas for the first time in my life, was a blast.

Nauvoo: six weeks of an intense experience that changed my life. Unfortunately, I lost my journal. Does that mean I have to go back and do it all over again?

New York City: for a whole twelve hours I wandered around The City and made mental plans of somehow making it back. 'Cause if I can make it there, well, I can make it just about anywhere.

Romania: though entirely too short of a trip, it was wonderful. Through all the roadblocks and technical problems, I still managed to get some incredible interviews.

BYU/Parkway Crossings/Conference Center: it's hard to tell where I spent most of my time these past few months. Living with Whitney's Dane, still teaching and studying at BYU, and driving to SLC almost every night for Savior of the World has all kind of blurred together. There are definitely some significant experiences that stand out against the hazy backdrop, but this past semester was quite a ride...

Some of 2008's tasks are spilling over into 2009 as a result (I still have a lot to work on to finish my documentary and my law school applications), but I am keeping my sanity by savoring every minute and persevering towards dreams that have long kept me awake at night (and by blowing money on a camera that I've always wanted...and a new snowboard) . One thing I have learned this past year is that life is a gift. An amazing, beautiful, sometimes twisted but always adventurous journey that is to be enjoyed.

call the waaambulance

three things i want to gripe about:

1. the american academic schedule ruins the christmas season. do you want to be stressing over final exams and papers you were supposed to have started three months ago when all you really want to do is cuddle up next to the fire with a cup of hot dark chocolate, knit a scarf and do all that other sappy stuff kozy's delilah recommends? i just realized today that christmas is next week. and i haven't watched a single christmas movie...

2. three weeks ago i bought myself a new camera that cost more than i should have spent, despite being on sale. but i'm not writing to whine about the buyer's remorse--what i'm griping about is the fact that it is still in the box. luckily, finals will be history by friday and i'll be on my way to becoming like some of my hip, artistic friends. and posting the photo results for your viewing pleasure.

3. i can't sleep.

that's all. everything else is pretty awesome. still no girlfriend and still no provo-escape route in the near future, but life is good.

oh, and...

In my Thanksgiving list, I somehow forgot to express gratitude for this:

holiday

On this joyous holiday weekend, I feel inclined to voice a little thanks. More than ever before, I am thankful for life; it's a beautiful, precious thing. I am thankful for possibilities and opportunities (not so thankful for having to choose between them, but thankful that I have them nonetheless). I am thankful that Sarah Palin isn't runner-up to the most powerful position in the country, but considering that I am also thankful for my family, all 187 of 'em, I must say that I am also grateful for a valuable lesson that I have been learning over the past year--to keep my mouth shut. Apart from the under-my-breath, snide commentary, (and a significantly awkward lashing-out at Matt's house recently), I have been making some serious progress when it comes to holding my tongue (and holding my keyboard, I guess you could say--which explains why I haven't written anything since the election...). Why do I bring this up now? Well, this new found, burgeoning skill will be absolutely vital to enjoying Thanksgiving dinner. Simply put, we, my extended family and I, don't always see eye-to-eye, and given the recently volatile political scene...let's just say if I don't keep quiet around the table...things could get ugly. And I would have to change the name of my blog to "somebody, somewhere still believes in me."

So, this Thanksgiving, as we gather round the hormone-ridden carcass of a buzzard that never saw the light of day outside of its cramped confinement, I'll do my best to keep the conversation focused on more light-hearted issues, i.e. the recent BYU-Utah game, new homes and new babies, Chloe's pregnant!, Matt's romantic life, the Twilight series, and so on.

Happy Thanksgiving. God bless us, everyone!

Christmas Wish List

Dear Santa,

1. world peace (i'm not just saying that--i really want world peace. the more i study international security and policy, the more i am convinced that war can be a thing of the past...and if i had a billion dollars, i would buy everyone a puppy.)

2. a girlfriend (stop rolling your eyes and thinking, "if jeff really wanted a girlfriend, he could/should just..." you know what? do you have any idea how many blind dates i have been on in the last while? and i might be busy, but if you think i need to cut something out of my life to make room for things that 'should be taking priority', tell me what i should cut out. i dare you.)

3. a break (as in a break from everything for just a couple days. i kind of took a break last weekend, but that wasn't the kind of break i am talking about. a vacation style break would be nice--hiking through a rainforest, river rafting, scuba diving, playing with my nieces and nephew, time to read and write...sigh.)

4. a camera (a nice nikon, please. and i know, i know. everyone thinks he can be a photographer, but i just might be the next ansel adams, you never know.)

public service announcement

I want you...

to

request for input

Before I say anything, I just want to make it clear that I am still planning on going to law school. That's what I want to do and that hasn't changed. My family may never quite know how to answer the question, "What's Jeff up to these days?" (or even harder, "Is Jeff ever going to graduate, get a real job, and get married?"), but my life only APPEARS to be wandering and aimless. I assure you that there is a bigger picture to be seen.

With that disclaimer, there is a small opportunity that has come up that I originally discarded as illogical. But, it keeps coming up. Instead of stewing over it myself, I'm passing it on to whoever wants to help out. The opportunity is Teach for America--basically, you teach two years in an underprivileged school in hopes of reducing the educational inequality prevalent in lower income neighborhoods. For more info, check out their site here.

Pros: hang out with kids, enhance teaching skills, get a master's degree, get paid a teacher's salary and benefits, get law school hook-ups, and possibly make a difference in some kid's life (think Dangerous Minds or Freedom Writers...or Sister Act II)


Cons: putting off law school for two more years (I guess this could be placed in the pro list) which means I wouldn't graduate from law school until the ripe old age of 97 (think... Billy Madison), I would have to stay in the US, and I wouldn't get a real job for another five more years. They say Teach for America gives you a whole new perspective on what you want to do with your life and increases your commitment for public service--I know I want to enter public interest law and I would be able to do more once I have my J.D., so why push it back two more years?

poze.

I finally uploaded the few photos I have from my trip to Romania this summer. Although I got quite a bit of footage, I hardly took any pictures. Here are a few to help explain why I am getting restless about being stuck in Provo for eight more months.

This is what I was doing most of the time and yet this is the only picture I have of me carrying out interviews. This is also from the interview when the viewfinder on the video camera went black and I could only hope that the two men were in the shot. At that point, the outcome of my project was about as sure as the communist structure seen in the background.
The Transylvanian Alps/The Carpathian Mountians are beautiful. Someday I am going to go backpacking in Romania...any takers?
Sister Gorzo--the beautiful woman that I stayed with in Bucharest. Not only is she an amazing cook and counselor, but she is hilarious. Her humor reminds me of Grandma Hale. And yes, she believes in me too.
Just a sampling of the many meals/desserts/snacks constantly available from the kitchen of the mission grandma: Sister Gorzo's cheesecake tart (though not the same consistency as American cheesecake--more like feta consistency than cream cheese consistency, the crust, the best part of any cheesecake, was on the bottom AND on the top) and homemade apple cider. This, accompanied by a good talk with Sora Gorzo, and I was in heaven.
This is the poster of an original play I saw in Bucharest. It was in a small theatre on the roof of the National Theatre (Romania's Carnegie Hall or MET opera) and it was brilliant. The premise was all about how we dream big as kids--thinking we can become whatever we want to be, only to give up on our dreams as we get old. It was called "Monday-Friday: 8am-4pm" (both the basic school and work schedule). The pink part of the sign, translated roughly, asks "What did you want to be [i.e. when you grew up] when you were six years old?" The theatre was connected to a sort of night club-- no dancing but it had lots of installation art and films going on all over and a really diverse group of people. I felt like I had tapped into the hip underground student scene in Bucharest.
To my surprise, Brother Calinescu lives! At 80+ his mind is still sharp--he recited a five minute poem for me (Luceafarul), and believe it or not, this man has a daughter that is my age. Stud.
I ate with Stefan and Ilie, two members that I first met way back when I was a greenie, at the new Hard Rock Bucharest the night before I came home. I felt like I had already arrived back in the States. This is just one example of the hundreds of new international businesses that have opened up in Romania since my mission.

Wait a second...that looks like a washed out version of that kid on that one 80's show...
Mormon Myth Confirmed! Ricky Schroeder (Silver Spoons, 24, Scrubs, Lonesome Dove, etc.) is a MO! That's right. He was baptized several years ago and came to church while working on a film in Romania for the SciFi network this August.

Me: "Whose donkey is that?" Boy: "Mine." Me: "Yours?" Boy: "Yep, mine..."

Boy: "...see."

a petition to sanity

The longer you avoid doing something, the harder it is to do. Like breaking up, making up, or cliff jumping--especially when your cousin, who's a girl, has already jumped. Or, writing on your blog. I think, wow, I need something really good to break the silence. And for weeks I've needed something to do while I procrastinate homework. And it's not as though I haven't had plenty to write about (turning 25 and getting scores of anti-you-know-who-if-you-know-me emails), but I just could not find something worthy of restarting the blog. Well, I have definitely found it...

A sweet individual who truly cares about both my future and my present safety pointed out that I had received an alarming comment on an old blog post (thank you--you know who you are). Once I read it, I felt inclined to delete it and then destroy my computer screen in a ritual cleansing ceremony. But something stopped me. I felt a responsibility to humanity to publish this comment for two reasons. First, I hope that this will remind us all to think about what we write on-line--blogs are open to the public. Second, I hope this will help us all to think about what we say/write to people and the possible ramifications that result.

Here is the comment, edited of all information that would reveal the identity of the mother or her daughter but otherwise left unaltered. I have also deleted the posted comment. Don't try to figure out who she is or who her daughter is. You don't know her. I hardly know her. And clearly, if she knew me, she wouldn't have written this.

Jeff,

I have been praying for you since I met you on July (date omitted). I really feel that you are my future son-in-law. Oh, but you are so smart and so amazing. What would ever prompt you to take a look at just an average,shy girl with an awesome testimony who has saved her first kiss for her future husband.
Yet, my grandkids are saying,"Grandma, Dad is too busy, help us out here." There are many weird people in this world. I have just entered that relm with this comment. Somtimes the Spirit really is annoying. Good Luck with your life Jeff. Your future mother-in-law believes in you too. And the alienation with my daughter that I risk when she finds out I wrote this will hopefully not span the Eternities

(name omitted)

Saturday, Nauvoo. Sunday, Bountiful. Monday, New York City. Tuesday, Bucharest.

Welp, I have arrived in Romania. My head is still spinning from all that has happened these past few days and I could definitely use some shut-eye--the two hours I got in Central Park Monday morning didn't quite count as a full night of sleep. And now I have two days of research ahead of me. (Back to school, back to school...)

Nauvoo was an amazing experience. I will never be the same again. It appears my hair won't be either.

As far as the LSAT, well, I got rocked. Not completely, but I was hoping for at least four points better than I got. That might not sound like much, but it is. So, now it's back to the drawing board. Take it again? If so, when? Maybe work for a year or two before going. Maybe apply to BYU and skip the 250 grand in debt...we will see. I'm trying not to worry too much about that right now. I have more pressing issues to figure out. For example: how am I suppose to make a documentary? It was one of those great ideas I had that I wasn't completely expecting to work out...

As for Romania, I feel at home again. I am staying at a member's house (Sora Gorzo) in Sector 3 of Bucharest--the same neighborhood that I started my mission in almost five and a half years ago. Wow, I am old. I am reminded of this every time a missionary asks how long I've been home.

And yes, Romanian food is just as good as I remember.

rock or be rocked

Tomorrow, Monday 16 June 2008 at 12:30, I will be taking the Law School Admissions Test. My scores are all over the board, and I'm sick, distracted, and scared to death but if Elle Woods can do it, so help me...

I can't help thinking of how nice it would be to have been recently dumped by some really hot girl for no other reason than I'm just not senator or senator's husband material. That's all I need--someone to stick it to. 

I wish someone would say, "What? YOU're taking the LSAT? What makes you think..." etc. But no, everyone I talk to has to be supportive. "I'm sure you'll be fine," they say. Sure it's comforting to know that other people, who don't know how up and down my practice test scores have been, have confidence in me, but I would really appreciate it if someone would seriously question and challenge my ability to do well, really point out the fact that I am up against insurmountable odds, like "Remember the Titans," "The Great Debaters," "Rudy," "Hoosiers," or the plus-size girl in "America's Next Top Model," and despite the odds, rise to the challenge and rock the LSAT, coming out of the testing center with "We are the Champions," or any other song by QUEEN, screaming in my head.

The truth of the matter is, if I come out with any sort of a half-decent score, the victory will have to be credited to Divine Providence.

here we go...

Westwater Canyon is considered by National Geographic to be the best one day white-water river trip this side of the Mississippi. The trip begins and ends with long, calm stretches of the winding Colorado River, banked by the usual red rocks of Southern Utah. Sandwiched between the two is an unbelievably intense section of white-water that makes even seasoned river guides loose in the bowels or, as is clearly recognizable by this picture, a little sweaty. As only Mother Nature could design it, the rapids are formed by a section of Vishnu Shist, a black, glossy rock that is less prone to erosion than sandstone and therefore compresses the river into a much narrower canyon and multiplies the speed and pressure of the water. Rapids such as Funnel Falls and Sock-it-to-me have stuck-it-to-me and many others. The most notorious rapid however, is Skull. This delightful rapid encompasses Skull Rock, Razor Rock, the Room of Doom and the Rock of Shock all in one clean package on a nearly ninety degree turn of the river. Looking down river as you race toward it, the river appears to drop off and dead end. If you row it correctly, your passengers don't even get wet and it simply blends in with the other rapids on a trip that they will never forget.

This week has me thinking of the river. And not just in the whiny, "I miss the river" sort of way. Somehow I have managed to compress more into this summer than ever before and time is flying by. This week is the last week of class and my last week to memorize everything for Nauvoo and study for the LSAT. Monday, June 16, is the LSAT and the first day of rehearsal for Nauvoo. Wednesday I take my final for Physical Science 100. After rehearsal ends on Saturday, I have three days to finish my proposal for my research in Romania. Then, it's off to Colorado for Nikki Wilkin's homecoming/road trip with friends. The day after I get back from Colorado, I fly out to Nauvoo. The day after I get back from Nauvoo, I fly out to Romania. The day after I get back from Romania, I have a training seminar on our new French 101 curriculum. Then school starts, work starts and law school applications start.

I will spare you the details on how unprepared I am for all of this and simply say that I am going to enjoy every minute of this summer.

This, correctly filling in little circles with a No.2 pencil, is what my life hinges on. Sound overly dramatic? Well, my score on the LSAT, which I am taking June 16th, will determine which law schools will even consider my application. The school I attend will then determine my career prospects. And in a certain sense, my career will map out the rest of my life.
A perfect score is 180. If I want to go into international law, I need to go to a top ten school which means, with my GPA, I need to get in the lower 170s to even have a chance. I haven't gotten there yet, but if Reese Witherspoon can do it, I can too gosh dangit.
To give you a little taste of what I am dealing with, here's a sample question that comes from the analytical reasoning section of the test, most affectionately called "the games" section because it's so much fun!

Three folk groups--Glenside, Hilltopper, Levon--and three rock groups--Peasant, Query, Tinhead--each perform on one of two stages, north or south. Each stage has three two-hour performances: north at 6, 8, and 10; south at 8, 10, and 12. Each group performs individually and exactly once, consistent with the following conditions:
Peasant performs at 6 or 12.
Glenside performs at some time before Hilltopper.
If any rock group performs at 10, no folk group does.
Levon and Tinhead perform o different stages.
Query performs immediately after a folk group, though not necessarily on the same stage.
(that's all prologue to the questions)

If Query performs at 12, then which one of the following could be an accurate ordering of the performances on the north stage, from first to last?
a. Glenside, Levon, Query
b. Peasant, Hilltopper, Tinhead
c. Peasant, Tinhead, Glenside
d. Peasant, Tinhead, Hilltopper
e. Peasant, Tinhead, Levon

If a rock a group performs at 10, then which one of the following must be true?
a. a folk group performs at 6
b. a folk group performs at 8
c. a folk group performs at 12
d. a rock group performs at 8
e. a rock group performs at 12.

family, isn't it about freaking time?

Before devoting my life to the LSAT, I went to visit my brother Tony and his beautiful family. Just a few pictures for your enjoyment. Well, more to remind of what life was like before the LSAT took over, and what it just might be like after.

my ace

This is an advertisement found on the website of my LSAT prep class, ACE. I find several things to be funny. First, doesn't he look dapper? So committed to "acing" the LSAT! Well son, being the white, middle-class young man you are, you will have to ace the LSAT if you want to get into law school. Second, I met Nick Thompson a few years back. I was studying abroad in Paris and he was in the process of choosing which law school he wanted to go to. He never came out with his score, but I knew it had to be good, considering he had his pick of Yale, Harvard and Stanford. Well, now I know. Third, that isn't a picture of Nick Thompson, despite its close proximity to his quote and name. Why not a picture of Nick? Well, you see Nick is a red-head and marketing surveys show that advertisements employing photos of red-heads evoke feelings of inferiority, linked, no doubt, to the red-headed step-child phenomena.

Dancing Dirty

At my dad's wedding, almost two years ago, I danced with Grandma. Mention of that dance has surfaced in every conversation we have had since that day and an enlarged, fuzzy picture of the event is proudly displayed in her living room beside the other most memorable moment in her life, her second wedding. Before my cousin Karly was even engaged, Grandma's usual reminder of our dancing began to hint at the future possibility of re-enacting that special night. She was thrilled when she found out that my brother Matt was renting a white dance floor for the event and was seen polishing it on her hands and knees after it arrived.

The night of the wedding, I found myself in charge of the bar. While I was busy mixing mocktails and Italian sodas, I could feel Grandma lingering around the bar with her eyes gleaming, waiting for our dance. When the line slowed and we ran out of pineapple juice, I seized the window of opportunity to grab Grandma and we headed onto the dance floor. Voici, the result:

The video requires some explanation. First, we happened to be the only people dancing at that time and I was painfully aware of the fact. My discomfort at being the center of attention was increased by the cameras recording every minute of it. Hence, the awkward smiles. Second, if you notice that I'm going a little fast for Grandma to keep up, that requires a confession: I didn't have much time and I figured that if I wore her out a little, one dance would be enough and she would be satisfied (not that I've ever had to worry about satisfying women). Third, yes, I almost dropped her. When I told her I was going to dip her she simply went limp and fell back.
All told, we're lucky she's still with us. Love you GRANDMA!

When Harry Reid came to BYU

Harry Reid, the US Senate Majority Leader, both a democrat and LDS, spoke at BYU last fall. My friend’s boss may have called him “the spawn of Satan,” but had he listened, even he may have felt motivated to serve his fellowmen. And of course there was his testimony. A Mormon may question another’s sincerity, but involving testimony, especially when it’s a conversion, is surely number one on the Sunday School Teacher’s list of contention-calming devices. With his polished, creamy smooth, majority-leadin’ rhetoric up the other sleeve, Reid was well equipped to enter the great Republican citadel of BYU and even venture to woo some unsuspecting freshmen co-eds to explore the dark side of liberalism. It is even possible that some of his words began to take root in my own Utahan born-n-bred head as I sat transfixed by his commanding authority. Citing King Benjamin drew the final blow.

With a heart softened, even bleeding, I found myself nodding, not recoiling, at his radically democratic perspectives. As he closed, I discovered myself on my feet, clapping my cymbal hands in support like a precisely wound monkey. Soon a cold guilt washed away my enthusiasm as I was faced with a chilling question: Could I be...dare I entertain the idea and spit in the face of religious conservatism, disgrace my family, destroy the very moral fabric of society?...could I be...heaven forbid...a democrat?

In fear of being ostracized by my entire extended family, I have chosen to leave this question unanswered for the time being. But I can't help entertaining the oh-so-dangerous idea. After all, I do believe in gun control and...I better stop there. I tend to jeopardize my welcome at family parties every time I open my mouth.