3.0

With the elections coming up next week, there was plenty to think about. You might want to skip the first few if you don't like politics.


What's the worst thing that could happen to you if you're running for governor in Illinois and trying to secure votes in multiple low-income districts? Ask Rich Whitney. As a result of a typo, or a sabotage according to some conspiracy theorists, his last name, Whitney, was misspelled as "Whitey" on early election ballots. Yep, Rich Whitey. And unfortunately for Rich, it appears as though the problem might not be fixed in time for Tuesday's elections.


You've never voted? Really? Well be warned, I do vote and it's probably not for the people you would vote for. Especially if you live in Alaska and are voting for Joe Miller.


Who's Joe Miller? (This is a little late in the game, but I'm only tweeting once a week.) Last week, Joe Miller, the Republican Senate candidate from Alaska, was asked about controlling immigration in a town hall meeting. He gave a typical response--recommending the fence-along-the-border method, but then cited East Germany as an effective model of border control. As in COMMUNIST East Germany. The BERLIN WALL East Germany. Complete lack of human rights and orders to shoot anyone trying to ESCAPE, East Germany. Maybe I'm just a little gun shy of the whole totalitarian dictatorship thing after living in Romania and interviewing victims of the communist regime, but really Joe? We have places like the former German Democratic Republic--they're called FEDERAL PRISONS.


Today at work I overheard a conversation (I was working in a cubicle, it was impossible not to overhear) about a wayward son who had strayed the path and voted for Obama...


...There was a brief period two years ago when my grandmother had a really hard time believing in me.


If I was in New York, I would go see Franz Xaver Messerschmidt's temporary exhibition at the Neue Galerie. His fascinating story goes a little like this: Around the time baroque was on its way out and neo-classical was the new black, Messerschmidt was at the top of his sculpting game and easily transitioning, even leading the transition, into the new movement. But he wasn't one of the popular kids in the Austrian Academy and when everyone was keeping things stoic, he started to put expression into the faces of his subjects. First smiles and grimaces, then yawns and stink-eyes. As a result, people thought he was crazy. Disenchanted he moved out of town and finished out his life creating all sorts of freaky faces that were way ahead of his time. And what happened to all those courtesan sculptures that mocked him and called him crazy? NO ONE CARES. If you are in New York before 10 January 2011, check out the original thriller FXM.

Why are we only symmetrical (OK, almost symmetrical) on the outside? And since we aren't symmetrical on the inside, how did we end up being almost symmetrical on the outside?

I like dressing up as a gothic for Halloween. I don't like being asked the next day, because I can't quite get that manliner off, if I'm supposed to be Adam Lambert or Evan Lysacek.


When I was a kid, my mom rationed out our Halloween candy for MONTHS. I distinctly remember gnawing through old black and orange taffy after Easter.


When I was a kid, my dad once took me and some friends on a trick-or-treating rampage all over Bountiful. We must have covered fifty miles of streets. After he dropped off my friends, he took me to the grocery store and bought me a bag full of candy bars to supplement my loot. I was the talk of the neighborhood. Until my brother Ben ratted me out--"You didn't get all that from trick-or-treating!" "Yes I did!" "No you didn't--Dad took you to the grocery store!" At this point in the conversation I made some attempt at a denial, but the shock if his uncanny perception was all over my face, screaming "How did you know?" "I know he did cause he did the same thing for me last year."

Besides "Thriller" and "Monster Mash", which are great, are there any other Halloween songs?

An older woman lived across the street from where I grew up. I was scared to death of her. I remember running through her front yard once on a dare--it was the bravest thing I had done up to that point in my life. We never trick-or-treated at her house because everyone knew that she covertly tucked ice into your trick-or-treat bag to ruin your candy. That house still makes me uneasy.


Plastic pumpkin face? A cauldron? Psssht. In my neighborhood, the only respectable trick-or-treat bag was a pillow case. Anything else was child's play.


Remember It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown?


Transylvania is absolutely the coolest place I have ever been on Halloween. First of all, it's Transylvania and it's awesome and it's beautiful in the fall. Second, huge flocks of crows fly through on their way south. I'm talking huge rivers of cawing birds soaring just above the apartment buildings. Third, on The Day of the Dead, everyone visits their family graves to clear away the weeds, leave gifts, and surround the tombs in candles. In Cluj-Napoca, the heart of Transylvania, the cemetery is on a hill over looking the city. That night, the hill was on fire with flickering candles. 


HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

if i had twitter 2.0.

Round two. I didn't have as much time to think this week because my funemployment has come to an end. For now. But here you have some random thoughts for the week:

On Sunday I ran into a guy that I was in a play (Shenandoah) with back when Rodgers Memorial Theater was Pages Lane Theater. The best line in that play? "If we don't try, then we don't do; and if we don't do, then why are we here?" AMEN.

An older gentleman, whom I respect very much, told me this week that if he had to go back and choose a career all over again, he would have gone with music.

The French are protesting. It's part of their culture. They've been doing it for centuries--even before 1789 when they gathered on a tennis court and decided they weren't going to roll over and take it anymore from the monarchy. And then stormed the Bastille. Right now they are striking because the government is threatening to pass a bill that would delay retirement two years. Swinging their unions into action, the protestors have blockaded fuel reserves, leaving one third of the nation's gas stations empty. And no one writes better, or more offensive protest signs. One particularly irreverent sign refers to Carla Bruni, the gorgeous Italian born French singer/supermodel-turned-first-lady: Hey Carla, we're like you--we're being screwed by the Chief of State.

Wislawa Szymborska, the Polish poet, said "I prefer the hell of chaos to the hell of order." I like you Wislawa.

What marks the difference between murder and assassination? Societal import?

There's a third circumstance which may be interpreted as me mumbling: talking on my cell phone. If I hold it in my right hand, or go hands-free with it against my shoulder, the person on the other end can't understand a thing. Add fatigue or apathy to the mix and there's no hope of intelligible conversation.

I can't picture myself ever getting to the point where I build, or even buy, a house.

Matt's house now has a Scentsy in it.

"If they're here, they should have to learn English." This phrase drives me up the wall for multiple reasons, but one in particular. Yes, I think people should put forth an effort to learn the language of whatever country they inhabit. And I think most people do try. However, "they", or sometimes "those people", usually refers to adults. Do you know how difficult it is for an adult to learn a second language? For four semesters I taught beginning French to college students. We had an hour of class every day in which I spoke almost entirely in French and they were forced to employ the basic French grammar and vocabulary they were learning. They had an hour of homework every night. They were required to attend French-speaking activities, watch French movies, and meet once a week outside of class to speak French with a classmate. We had oral and written exams every other week. We sampled French food and listened to French music. My classes were supervised by one of the top French language instructors in the country--the woman who had written our text book. All the best, most researched means of second language instruction were employed to help these bright, young minds learn French. Some of them, let's say half, did everything in their power to learn the language. Everyday I would encourage them, praise them for their progress--tell them they were doing great. You know what? I LIED. Their French was awful--ear-numbingly painful. Their comprehension was limited to theatrically expressive, slow speaking on my behalf. The few who succeeded in learning more than simple phrases were those who had previously learned another foreign language. If they can't do it, how can we expect an immigrant, day-laborer (who has no such language resources) to learn English in the United States? If we take a look back at our progenitors, most of us will find that learning English didn't kick in until the second generation.

You may have heard this before, but it is true: Women are most attractive when they are not trying to be.

The Tea Party movement doesn't sound like much of a party to me.

I hate hearing that people are worried about me. Not just because I would rather not have my life's circumstances be a subject of discussion, but because it shows a lack of confidence on their behalf for what I am doing with those circumstances.

Jersey Shore--nature or nurture?

I almost signed up for an EMT class this week. Why? I've always been interested in emergency medicine and being a paramedic or a firefighter really appeals to me. They are occupations with the coolness-adventure factor of river guiding on a slightly more mature scale.

I miss being a river guide. And I still miss Paris. And Romania. And AFRICA.

Around the 18th and 19th centuries, a soldier's desertion, sickness, or even death could be attributed to nostalgia. This was determined to be most common amongst Swiss mercenaries because of their longing for the beauty of the Swiss Alps. The opposite of nostalgia, or homesickness, was wanderlust, coined by the Germans, as the desire to be far from home. My great-grandfather, Fritz Seibold, attributed his young adult wanderings (which led him to meet my great-grandmother, Frieda) to wanderlust.

Compare the words overcome and undergo.

When I was in college I almost signed up for the marines. Not kidding. I was especially interested in the scholarship possibilities when I was thinking of going to law school. After talking to a recruiter on campus, I went into their office and took an aptitude test. They made me an offer and I went home to think about it. I mentioned it to my dad and his wigging out made me chicken out. Mostly because I had seen in the movies what happens to guys at boot camp who have last names like Dickamore.

At a birthday party last weekend, I had to wear a name tag with my last name on it. Several people l.o.l.-ed and two people couldn't stop laughing. For several minutes. It's been a while since I got such boisterous reactions.

Springing leaks, convulsing core, spreading joints, and tearing flesh--a full on body kamikaze. Thank the Almighty I never "get" to give birth.

Ben's a freaking DAD. The word precious makes me queezy but there is nothing more that than a newborn baby girl.

As I get older it's becoming increasingly possible that I will marry a girl who has already been married and may already have kids. I think I'm OK with that.

If there hadn't been a Cold War, we probably never would have put a man on the moon. The government had decided that lunar exploration was too risky and too expensive. In 1961, the Soviets gave us the finger by successfully put Major Yuri Gagarin into orbit. Two years prior, the Soviets had also been the first to land a man-made object on the moon. The pressure was on, but with a price tag of 11 billion dollars, Kennedy was still reluctant. It took the encouragement of his vice-president Lyndon B. Johnson to seal the deal with the phrase "To be second in space is to be second in everything". In September 1962, Kennedy made an epic speech to a filled stadium at Rice University in Houston, Texas (He spoke there because of the university's involvement in the space effort--hence the "Houston, we have a problem" line). He announced that we were going to the moon and closed his speech with this: "Many years ago the great British explorer George Mallory, who was to die on Mount Everest, was asked why did he want to climb it. He said, 'Because it is there.'Well, space is there, and we're going to climb it, and the moon and the planets are there, and new hopes for knowledge and peace are there. And, therefore, as we set sail we ask God's blessing on the most hazardous and dangerous and greatest adventure on which man has ever embarked." Billions of dollars, 400,000 people, and seven years later, Neil Armstrong made one giant leap for mankind.

The movie script is coming along. Largely thanks to the genius that is Joel Ackerman.

This guy is in town tonight.

And those are some filtered thoughts for the week.

i miss paris. they do stuff like this there.

Aloe Blacc | I Need A Dollar | A Take Away Show - Part 1 from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Aloe Blacc | A Take Away Show - Part 2 from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

au cinéma.

I lost a little humanity this week. And this was just what I needed:

Who wants to bet that Carey Mulligan, who was nominated for an Oscar last year for "An Education", will be nominated again for "Never Let Me Go"?  Andrew Garfield and Keira Knightley were also brilliant. The characters and their tragic circumstances were amplified by the simplicity of the story.

It's in limited release and is only playing at the Broadway Centre Cinemas.

thoughts.

I don't tweet. I don't because I don't think anyone really cares about down to the second updates on what's running through my head. (Such as how would I explain the prepositions used in that last sentence to someone who doesn't speak English as a first language?)

But if I had been tweeting this week, it would have gone something like this:

Cancer sucks.

Did anyone expect Clint Eastwood--you've gotta ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?--would end up being such an awesome director?


Why do I keep talking to her when I should just shut up and say sorry?


I have no marketable skills.


What are all those 'funny' things we used to say every time we passed Northern X-Posure on the way to Salt Lake?


I think about Mark Zuckerberg and Harvard and brilliant dialogue every time I get on facebook now.


That's what Sean Hannity looks like? ...why can't he look either a) weasely and neurotic or b) like Rush Limbaugh?

Thomas S., do you ever get a break?

Hereafter looks lame. Seriously, Clint? Waiting until redbox...

There are two different types of people that call me Jeffy: People that knew me as a kid and people I want to punch in the face.

Ever wonder why your girlfriend doesn't think you match, but you think your clothing choice is fine? Most people are trichromatic (meaning they have three types of color receptors in their eyes). Some animals, like certain spiders, marsupials, birds, reptiles, and fish are tetrachromats (which means they have four receptors). As many as half of all women are retinal tetrachromats. While only women? Because you have to have two X chromosomes, blah, blah genetic stuff I don't understand. But SOME of these feminine retinal tetrachromats, have ENHANCED color discriminations. In other words, they are functional tetrachromats and see, or distinguish, more colors than you do. Like spiders. Lizards and piranhas. And other cold blooded things. Which is probably another reason why this can only happen in females.... ZING!

Is the popularity of baseball in Japan linked to postwar US investments?

I love my MacBook.

Why have I still not seen Politist, Adjectif?

Do I know anyone that would pay me to go live with a troop of Rroma (gypsies to all you non-p.c.-ers) for a few months? And thereby produce a wicked cool documentary about a people that no one accepts and no one understands... Did you know there's a Gypsy King in Sibiu, Romania where I lived for four and a half months?

Is darkness really just the absence of light? Is cold, then, just the absence of heat?

Roy Lichtenstein, you are a stud. 

I really want the misogynistic character in my screenplay to wear a t-shirt that says "This is what a FEMINIST looks like."

Matt took THIRTY-FIVE dress shirts to the dry-cleaners today. I am never paying rent again.

Would anyone fund a short film about a father who has lost his wife to cancer? If someone did fund it, would anyone watch it?

Unlike all the cool kids (i.e. BStone's friends) I only recently started listening to The National. Pick of the week is "Fake Empire".

For the love of all that's holy, please don't make another comment about your concerns for the YSA.


Can you imagine having sexually transmitted diseases on your list of workplace hazards? Between 2004 and 2008, the Los Angeles County Public Health Department logged 2,847 STD infections among 1,884 adult film performers. (yep, read it again, that's just over 1.5 per person) And because the actors get around so much, literally, a positive HIV test on one performer creates a scare that can shut the entire industry down for months.


Hereafter looks really good. I will not wait until redbox.

Can it really be considered art if you just paint a whole canvas blue? Yes Yves Klein, YES it can.

I am a mumbler. While I am working on not mumbling, I've figured out that I do it on two types of occasions: 1. I don't want to be talking (because I'm uncomfortable or embarrassed) or 2. I don't care (because I'm tired and/or lazy).

The word announcement looks better spelled anouncement.

Lady singing in the dairy section at Walmart, I heart you.

Yes, I do need these art supplies more than I need new brakes.

I miss Paris.

If I did utilize a social networking tool to express my every thought, there would be a lot more things I shouldn't have cast into cyberspace.

what have you been up to since august 5?

Well, if you are one of 33 Chilean miners, you've been TRAPPED in a MINE 700 meters below the surface. SINCE AUGUST 5th. And for the first 17 of those days, you survived on emergency food rations and had ZERO communication with the outside world. 

photo from news.com.au

What would you do to pass the time? Besides twice-daily prayer sessions, one miner reports that he runs 10km a day. Hats off to you, dude--the world is literally crashing in around you and yet you still manage to get in some cardio. After drilling three small shafts to deliver food and set up communication, rescuers are now getting close to completing a rescue shaft that might be successful in bringing the miners to the surface. Might. 


The shaft will only be big enough to rescue one at a time. A big concern is the order in which the miners will be brought to the surface, considering the shaft may implode during the process. According to a report from the Guardian, (that you can read here) "Last up will be those considered most capable of handling the anxiety of being left behind as their comrades disappear one by one." Can you imagine waiting in that line?


In other news, CONGRATS to Kim Jong-un who was announced this week as North Korea's next in line for the position of egomaniacal dictator! This means that North Korea, which has been keeping totalitarian power in the Kim family since 1948, is going to continue its legacy of world's most delusional state. And just in case you were worried, this recently released picture confirms that Jong-un will continue in his father's footsteps: Keeping North Korea cool and casual by always wearing pajamas. Everyday. Everywhere.

That's Jong-un looking smart in black while his father, Jong-il on the right, has chosen the safari khaki,
complete with stunna shades.  (photo from Christian Science Monitor)

But WAIT, you're thinking, HOLD the PHONE. What about KIM JONG-NAM, the eldest son? Shouldn't he be next in line? Unfortunately for him, fortunately for Jong-un, Jong-nam lost favor with his father when, back in 2001, he tried to sneak past Japanese customs using a forged Dominican Republic passport. Where was he headed? Well, where every oppressed son of an irrational dictator who is really just like all the other kids wants to go:

TOKYO DISNEY!

I wonder what gave him away--the fact that the name on the passport translated directly as "Fat Bear" or the fact that of all the nationalities to choose from, an Asian tried to pose as a Dominican?

that facebook movie.

I saw the Social Network late Saturday night and I will see it again before it's out of theaters.

My accolades:
It was filled with great performances (Jesse Eisenberg's character was SOLID, Andrew Garfield's was honest, Armie Hammer seamlessly played TWO separate characters, and wait, Justin Timberlake can act? see for yourself--PG13), clutch editing, wickedly skilled directing by David Fincher, and BRILLIANT dialogue. LOADS of brilliant dialogue. I venture to say that Aaron Sorkin, the screenwriter, is a genius and will win the Oscar for best adapted screenplay. It's very rare to find a film these days with that much dialogue and it's even more rare for it to be so engaging.

Plus, who doesn't love a movie based, even loosely, on a true story?

My [minor] complaints:
The obsession with the elitist clubs felt archaic and reminiscent of The Skulls. Sean Parker just happened to be across the street when the chimney came down? And the crazy girlfriend lighting the bed on fire might have been more at home in a Lindsay Lohan movie.

Though much smarter than most college movies, it falls into typical themes and is rated PG13 for sexual content, language, and drug and alcohol use.