30 October 2010

3.0

With the elections coming up next week, there was plenty to think about. You might want to skip the first few if you don't like politics.


What's the worst thing that could happen to you if you're running for governor in Illinois and trying to secure votes in multiple low-income districts? Ask Rich Whitney. As a result of a typo, or a sabotage according to some conspiracy theorists, his last name, Whitney, was misspelled as "Whitey" on early election ballots. Yep, Rich Whitey. And unfortunately for Rich, it appears as though the problem might not be fixed in time for Tuesday's elections.


You've never voted? Really? Well be warned, I do vote and it's probably not for the people you would vote for. Especially if you live in Alaska and are voting for Joe Miller.


Who's Joe Miller? (This is a little late in the game, but I'm only tweeting once a week.) Last week, Joe Miller, the Republican Senate candidate from Alaska, was asked about controlling immigration in a town hall meeting. He gave a typical response--recommending the fence-along-the-border method, but then cited East Germany as an effective model of border control. As in COMMUNIST East Germany. The BERLIN WALL East Germany. Complete lack of human rights and orders to shoot anyone trying to ESCAPE, East Germany. Maybe I'm just a little gun shy of the whole totalitarian dictatorship thing after living in Romania and interviewing victims of the communist regime, but really Joe? We have places like the former German Democratic Republic--they're called FEDERAL PRISONS.


Today at work I overheard a conversation (I was working in a cubicle, it was impossible not to overhear) about a wayward son who had strayed the path and voted for Obama...


...There was a brief period two years ago when my grandmother had a really hard time believing in me.


If I was in New York, I would go see Franz Xaver Messerschmidt's temporary exhibition at the Neue Galerie. His fascinating story goes a little like this: Around the time baroque was on its way out and neo-classical was the new black, Messerschmidt was at the top of his sculpting game and easily transitioning, even leading the transition, into the new movement. But he wasn't one of the popular kids in the Austrian Academy and when everyone was keeping things stoic, he started to put expression into the faces of his subjects. First smiles and grimaces, then yawns and stink-eyes. As a result, people thought he was crazy. Disenchanted he moved out of town and finished out his life creating all sorts of freaky faces that were way ahead of his time. And what happened to all those courtesan sculptures that mocked him and called him crazy? NO ONE CARES. If you are in New York before 10 January 2011, check out the original thriller FXM.

Why are we only symmetrical (OK, almost symmetrical) on the outside? And since we aren't symmetrical on the inside, how did we end up being almost symmetrical on the outside?



I like dressing up as a gothic for Halloween. I don't like being asked the next day, because I can't quite get that manliner off, if I'm supposed to be Adam Lambert or Evan Lysacek.


When I was a kid, my mom rationed out our Halloween candy for MONTHS. I distinctly remember gnawing through old black and orange taffy after Easter.


When I was a kid, my dad once took me and some friends on a trick-or-treating rampage all over Bountiful. We must have covered fifty miles of streets. After he dropped off my friends, he took me to the grocery store and bought me a bag full of candy bars to supplement my loot. I was the talk of the neighborhood. Until my brother Ben ratted me out--"You didn't get all that from trick-or-treating!" "Yes I did!" "No you didn't--Dad took you to the grocery store!" At this point in the conversation I made some attempt at a denial, but the shock if his uncanny perception was all over my face, screaming "How did you know?" "I know he did cause he did the same thing for me last year."



Besides "Thriller" and "Monster Mash", which are great, are there any other Halloween songs?


An older woman lived across the street from where I grew up. I was scared to death of her. I remember running through her front yard once on a dare--it was the bravest thing I had done up to that point in my life. We never trick-or-treated at her house because everyone knew that she covertly tucked ice into your trick-or-treat bag to ruin your candy. That house still makes me uneasy.


Plastic pumpkin face? A cauldron? Psssht. In my neighborhood, the only respectable trick-or-treat bag was a pillow case. Anything else was child's play.


Remember It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown?


Transylvania is absolutely the coolest place I have ever been on Halloween. First of all, it's Transylvania and it's awesome and it's beautiful in the fall. Second, huge flocks of crows fly through on their way south. I'm talking huge rivers of cawing birds soaring just above the apartment buildings. Third, on The Day of the Dead, everyone visits their family graves to clear away the weeds, leave gifts, and surround the tombs in candles. In Cluj-Napoca, the heart of Transylvania, the cemetery is on a hill over looking the city. That night, the hill was on fire with flickering candles


HAPPY HALLOWEEN.



7 comments:

Mrs. Porter said...

There's tons of good Halloween music, Jeff. Harry Potter's theme music; Ghostbusters; The Headless Horseman (Disney version of course); the Purple People Eater; Friends of the Other Side (from Princess and the Frog); Shake, Rattle, and Roll; and if you want some classical stuff, there's always Toaccata and Fugue in D Minor. :)

Matt said...

How about "People are Strange" by the Doors?

Nauvoo Commuter said...

You would be more understanding of Joe Miller if you understood the problem. Inuits from Canada are sneaking across the border and taking jobs from hardworking Eskimos in Alaska. And not just cleaning jobs, but fishing, hunting for polar bears, and igloo construction jobs. Alaska is getting crowded now, with like 1 person per 100,000,000,000 acres.

Honestly, I had never heard of Joe Miller, but I'm trying to imagine some justifying scenario.

Marge Bjork said...

i'm going to be pondering over our symmetrical vs. asymmetricality for a long time.

Emily said...

Ha! Are you trying to confess who you voted for in the last Presidential election, Jeff? I agree with you - partially. When we have a chance to really talk politics I'll explain why.
Oh, and Tocatta and Fugue is definitely NOT on my list of Halloween music. Try Liszt's Totentanz.

The Novelist said...

I,m not very symmetrical outside. I guess I got in the wrong line, or maybe it's because I always sleep on one side of my face.

Sweater Layne said...

I could read your ramblings all day and all night. You are so 'flowy'. Thats right. I said 'flowy' you oughta know by now that my writing flows, but mostly doesnt make sense because i make up my own words.
BUT....
I love it all. I LOVE the Transylvania bit. AND....
the wayward son part.. i laughed So loud when i read it. Same for the old lady across the street and your bravery.