But if I had been tweeting this week, it would have gone something like this:
Cancer sucks.
Did anyone expect Clint Eastwood--you've gotta ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?--would end up being such an awesome director?
Why do I keep talking to her when I should just shut up and say sorry?
I have no marketable skills.
What are all those 'funny' things we used to say every time we passed Northern X-Posure on the way to Salt Lake?
I think about Mark Zuckerberg and Harvard and brilliant dialogue every time I get on facebook now.
That's what Sean Hannity looks like? ...why can't he look either a) weasely and neurotic or b) like Rush Limbaugh?
Thomas S., do you ever get a break?
Hereafter looks lame. Seriously, Clint? Waiting until redbox...
Ever wonder why your girlfriend doesn't think you match, but you think your clothing choice is fine? Most people are trichromatic (meaning they have three types of color receptors in their eyes). Some animals, like certain spiders, marsupials, birds, reptiles, and fish are tetrachromats (which means they have four receptors). As many as half of all women are retinal tetrachromats. While only women? Because you have to have two X chromosomes, blah, blah genetic stuff I don't understand. But SOME of these feminine retinal tetrachromats, have ENHANCED color discriminations. In other words, they are functional tetrachromats and see, or distinguish, more colors than you do. Like spiders. Lizards and piranhas. And other cold blooded things. Which is probably another reason why this can only happen in females.... ZING!
Is the popularity of baseball in Japan linked to postwar US investments?
I love my MacBook.
Why have I still not seen Politist, Adjectif?
Do I know anyone that would pay me to go live with a troop of Rroma (gypsies to all you non-p.c.-ers) for a few months? And thereby produce a wicked cool documentary about a people that no one accepts and no one understands... Did you know there's a Gypsy King in Sibiu, Romania where I lived for four and a half months?
Is darkness really just the absence of light? Is cold, then, just the absence of heat?
Roy Lichtenstein, you are a stud.
I really want the misogynistic character in my screenplay to wear a t-shirt that says "This is what a FEMINIST looks like."
Matt took THIRTY-FIVE dress shirts to the dry-cleaners today. I am never paying rent again.
Would anyone fund a short film about a father who has lost his wife to cancer? If someone did fund it, would anyone watch it?
Unlike all the cool kids (i.e. BStone's friends) I only recently started listening to The National. Pick of the week is "Fake Empire".
For the love of all that's holy, please don't make another comment about your concerns for the YSA.
Can you imagine having sexually transmitted diseases on your list of workplace hazards? Between 2004 and 2008, the Los Angeles County Public Health Department logged 2,847 STD infections among 1,884 adult film performers. (yep, read it again, that's just over 1.5 per person) And because the actors get around so much, literally, a positive HIV test on one performer creates a scare that can shut the entire industry down for months.
Hereafter looks really good. I will not wait until redbox.
Can it really be considered art if you just paint a whole canvas blue? Yes Yves Klein, YES it can.
I am a mumbler. While I am working on not mumbling, I've figured out that I do it on two types of occasions: 1. I don't want to be talking (because I'm uncomfortable or embarrassed) or 2. I don't care (because I'm tired and/or lazy).
The word announcement looks better spelled anouncement.
Lady singing in the dairy section at Walmart, I heart you.
Yes, I do need these art supplies more than I need new brakes.
I miss Paris.
If I did utilize a social networking tool to express my every thought, there would be a lot more things I shouldn't have cast into cyberspace.
7 comments:
Oh Jeff. I heart that lady in the dairy section singing too. In fact, I am pretty sure I have been that lady singing in the dairy section at times... willingly. It's great you hear you are so doing well! Have fun and keep up the good work!
As far as Jeffy, you've asked some of us to not call you that ... it sucks but we're trying! Also, I would totally pay for you to go live w/ some gypsies. i think it'd be interesting and definitely a one of a kind experience! But as far as women having the eye thing, not all of us have it. i think i am missing the whole damn thing ... just take a look at the way i dress!
The most important question you should have been asking yourself is 'how can I get to TX ASAP'. We miss you!
This is such a great post jeffrey!!! I think you should start a series of If I Had Twitter. It'll catch on quick.
First off, NO, I did not take 35 shirts to the dry cleaner. It was probably a little closer to 40 -- don't judge. PLUS, I only go once I get to the end of my supply when I have no other choice than to wear the shirts that I really don't like anymore, don't fit right, or that I bought on a whim when the Banana was having a one day online sale that was ending in 10 minutes and when it arrived it sat on my not-so-clean bedroom floor for two months and I couldn't return it so I thought I'd at least give it a try. But most of all, if it gives me five more minutes of sleep for a mere $1.50, I say it is worth it. It is my small way of helping the dry cleaning economy.
Second, everyone stop calling Jeff Jeffy and me Matty. I hate it for the same reasons. Ughhhh...
Third, I want to go to Texas too! Maybe Christmas? How cool would that be to see the chitlins run down to see their new wardrobes provided by their favorite nuncle!? Not as exciting as toys, but who doesn't like finding the perfect little summer dress with matching shoes or a sweet little infant vest that will get the girls on the playground already swooning? Yep, that's me. The favorite nuncle.
Fourth, Jeff, I LOVE YOUR FREAKIN FACE!!!
Amen.
I love all your faces.
TEXASS here we come.
Um... I know you hate it, but I StephY, Crapface, your once slut of a cousin will NEVER stop calling you Jeffy. So go ahead, punch the knocked up girl in the face.
MattY & JeffY... PUHLEEEEeASE come to Texass over Christmas, baby boy is due the 21st, but have a feeling he is coming christmas day. Tami will be photographing the entire thing. Matt, you can coordinate a "coming home from the hospital outfit" for the stud. And Jeff, you can write a movie and film my whole birthing story.
Sweeeeeeeeeeet! Sounds good to me. If you come to Texass over Christmas, I will try harder to stop with ending your names with a Y! I freakin love ur guts... now go book those flights!
My favorite post by far! Love all the little lines. If you had tweeted these, and I was following said tweets, I'd have to comment on a few of them. Like...I have a T-shirt that says, I'm not a Gynecologist, but I'll take a look. Would that work? A movie about cancer and a wife would be too depressing I think to watch. Although I do watch The Big C on Showtime and it's pretty good.
I'll have to see some of your artwork my friend. Maybe you can sell some artwork to buy new brakes. :) If you're in Utah still, we need to get together. I've been thinking that we are long overdue for a Musketeers reunion as well.
Anthony L
Post a Comment