excuse me?

let's throw a wrench into things, shall we?

i just heard from teach for america and where do you think they offered me a position? maybe to my first, second, third or fourth preference? nope. any one of those would have landed me in a big city on the east coast. instead they offered me a two year teaching position here:

the rural, west coast of oahu.

...i, uh...what? i thought i had decided against doing teach for america and just moving right on to law school. but can i really turn down to years in hawaii with a full salary and benefits, teaching english (grades 6-12)? on the other side of the fence, i don't know if i could i handle the laid-back lifestyle. and marriage prospects on the island might be slim--two more years of solitude?

so there you go. just when you thought you had narrowed it down and figured things out...

law school apps: check.

they are finally submitted. and now we play the waiting game. [patience is a virtue.]
where did i apply, you ask? well...

first, the two "reach" schools:

NYU (Downtown NYC)

Columbia (Uptown NYC)


a "reach" school refers to a school that you apply to without too much hope of getting in. for me, these are more like "stretch until you tear your ligaments and pull your bones from your sockets" schools. in other words, the only way i will get admitted to either is if someone on the admissions committee makes a mistake or Divine Intervention causes someone to look past my depressingly low LSAT score. with an application fee of $80 dollars per school, i limited my reach schools to two. here's to hoping.

second, still a "reach" but slightly more of a possibility:

Penn (Philadelphia)


Georgetown (D.C.)

Duke (Durham, N. Carolina)


third, the "safety" school:

George Washington (D.C.)

usually a "safety" school refers to a law school that is sure to accept your application. this isn't exactly the case with gw, which is a great school, but it is my best chance.

that totals six schools. yes, $80 times six equals more than you want to pay for rejection. i chose to apply to these schools because of the opportunities they offer in public international law (and obviously their proximity to provo). i should hear back from them between now and april. [patience is a virtue. patience is a virtue.] in the mean time, i should hear from teach for america next week which could throw another wrench into the cogs.

so, where do you think i'll end up?

why i resisted the pressure to major [or minor] in business

1. business lingo--some h.r. or p.r. guy (i honestly don't know the difference) comes up with a convoluted connotation of a formerly abstract word by 'thinking outside the box' and suddenly it's the holy grail of human exploitation. it quickly makes its way into every sentenced uttered within earshot of management and soon finds itself plastered on coffee mugs and office walls, coupled with a cheap stock photo, and eventually immortalized in a kitschy bronze sculpture.

perfect example: synergy. don't you see? it denotes the cooperative action of multiple parts--SYNERGY! give me an S! give me a Y!...

give me a break.

what's most bothersome is that they are presented as a motivational revolution when in reality nothing is internalized and nothing to do with human behavior is affected. but this doesn't keep anyone from using the word as though it actually means something.

2. networking--while also a prime example of business lingo, this word actually does mean something: to make acquaintances with the sole purpose of benefiting from said acquaintances. this seems to have permeated all forms of social interaction. sure, it can be defended by saying that it is meant to be mutually beneficial, but even still, you're only scratching someone else's back because you are expecting a scratch in return. what happened to making friends?

3. mission statements--whether it's for a corporation or for a newly-wed couple, mission statements make my skin crawl. their business origins are clearly manifested by the fact that they are meant to appear important and professional, efficient and organized, and yet are unable to manifest themselves by producing any significant result. so, take time to write one, print it on sturdy paper with the little flecks of grass and feathers in it, frame it, place it prominently on your wall, and forget about it.

4. business conduct--there's something unsettling to me about reading books like How to Win Friends and Influence People and How to Sell Anything to Anyone. call me crazy, but it seems that business encourages you to pretend to be someone you aren't so you can get people to do something they don't want to do. yes, i am interested in promoting communication and compromise, resolving conflict, and facilitating understanding between adverse groups and i might very well benefit from such training, but i don't want to improve my ability to manipulate and exploit. and i get uncomfortable when i can tell someone is pursuing an agenda with me, not really listening to what i am saying nor trying to understand my point of view.

i must say that i greatly admire business people who manage to be good at what they do while avoiding such behavior. when i visited my brother at the assisted living center he managed. he introduced me to everyone we passed and he knew the name and situation of every employee, from the head nurse to the $8/hour janitors, and they in turn knew and appreciated him. sure, this can be seen as a brilliantly crafted, conniving affectation scheme, but the point is that tony wasn't getting to know his employees for the purpose of controlling them; he actually cares about people.

i guess it's the uncertainty of sincerity that gets me about business.

and that's why i am going to law school . . . ?